I hate dealing with money in this business. That is by far the worst part. I love midwifery! If I could afford to do it for free, well I probably still wouldn't for 1 main reason. If someone gets something for free they don't value it. Trust me I have done free midwifery and that is exactly how it was. It was a very disappointing experience.
ANYWAYS, why is it your midwife, that gets put to the back of your bill pile? Especially when your baby is already 5, 6, 8, 12+ months old. Money makes me feel bitter sometimes. Especially when people are Christmas shopping and then inform you that they won't be able to make their payment for the month. It makes me so sad, don't they realize its mine and my families christmas this month too? Instead all the payments I am supposed to be getting for the months of Oct, Nov, and December are going toward buying other peoples kids christmas presents. I feel like my kids and husband have already sacrificed so that I could be with other peoples families during their birth journeys. Why is it that they have to sacrifice during their Christmas too?
Monday, December 8, 2014
Thursday, November 4, 2010
IUGR Rant....
IUGR= Intrauterine Growth Retardation
I dont know if this is one of those times in my life where I realize how fearful people are about birth, or another confirmation of, "That midwife is heartless, insecure, ignorant, and angry." Years ago I remember vividly sitting in a room with a pregnant mama. A very healthy vegetarian pregnant mama who trusted her body to birth her baby perfectly. I was the student midwife. I dont remember exactly how many weeks along this mom was but I am thinking somewhere around 38. She had her baby shortly after this appt. Anyways she was measuring about 5cm too small. Textbook= 1cm per week of pregnancy give or take 1-2 cm. As you know EVERY woman is within textbook range. NOT!!! Hello people.... EVERY single one of us have a different build, pelvis, waist etc. Why are there certain expectations on each of us. We are all so different!
So back to this amazing mama. I remember her leaving that Prenatal appt crying. CRYING!!! I would NEVER let one of my clients leave crying. NEVER. That midwife had placed so much fear and doubt in her (from my point of view) or maybe she was thinking.... how did I find this midwife? That midwife was trying to convince this amazing woman that she had IUGR. Dont get me wrong TRUE IUGR can be very dangerous and should not be taken lightly. But smaller than normal fundal height tells you NOTHING!!! She went on to have an amazingly beautiful little 6+ pound healthy baby girl!
Yesterday I attended an amazingly beautiful homebirth that the mom measured 34cm. IUGR?? No, not even close. The week before she measured 31cm. Why? Well one reason was her baby was posterior. Baby's position plays such a big role in fundal height. Another is she is tall and has a deep pelvis. Was I afraid of IUGR... NO. I trusted her body, I trusted the fact that it would do exactly what it was supposed to. She had a beautiful baby boy just shy of 7 pounds. PERFECT!! She was a whole 123 pounds 10 months pregnant. This was the one birth that was not traumatic, it was peaceful and "easy" in her words. This was her 3rd baby.
My point for this blog... I guess its to get people thinking that its not all "textbook".... and as a matter of fact, its RARELY "textbook" when you trust birth. I love what I do... people think I am out to prove a point. No I am not but, with what I do, it ends up proving a point.
I dont know if this is one of those times in my life where I realize how fearful people are about birth, or another confirmation of, "That midwife is heartless, insecure, ignorant, and angry." Years ago I remember vividly sitting in a room with a pregnant mama. A very healthy vegetarian pregnant mama who trusted her body to birth her baby perfectly. I was the student midwife. I dont remember exactly how many weeks along this mom was but I am thinking somewhere around 38. She had her baby shortly after this appt. Anyways she was measuring about 5cm too small. Textbook= 1cm per week of pregnancy give or take 1-2 cm. As you know EVERY woman is within textbook range. NOT!!! Hello people.... EVERY single one of us have a different build, pelvis, waist etc. Why are there certain expectations on each of us. We are all so different!
So back to this amazing mama. I remember her leaving that Prenatal appt crying. CRYING!!! I would NEVER let one of my clients leave crying. NEVER. That midwife had placed so much fear and doubt in her (from my point of view) or maybe she was thinking.... how did I find this midwife? That midwife was trying to convince this amazing woman that she had IUGR. Dont get me wrong TRUE IUGR can be very dangerous and should not be taken lightly. But smaller than normal fundal height tells you NOTHING!!! She went on to have an amazingly beautiful little 6+ pound healthy baby girl!
Yesterday I attended an amazingly beautiful homebirth that the mom measured 34cm. IUGR?? No, not even close. The week before she measured 31cm. Why? Well one reason was her baby was posterior. Baby's position plays such a big role in fundal height. Another is she is tall and has a deep pelvis. Was I afraid of IUGR... NO. I trusted her body, I trusted the fact that it would do exactly what it was supposed to. She had a beautiful baby boy just shy of 7 pounds. PERFECT!! She was a whole 123 pounds 10 months pregnant. This was the one birth that was not traumatic, it was peaceful and "easy" in her words. This was her 3rd baby.
My point for this blog... I guess its to get people thinking that its not all "textbook".... and as a matter of fact, its RARELY "textbook" when you trust birth. I love what I do... people think I am out to prove a point. No I am not but, with what I do, it ends up proving a point.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
August 7th 1994
Boy was that a long hard night. This mama was in labor for 10 hours. Which in all reality thats not very long. But this mama worked very very hard for 10 hours. She did amazing. This was her 4th baby and 2nd homebirth. She was a good 2 weeks overdue which she had never experienced before nor had she experienced a "longer" labor. Her longest labor had been roughly 3 hours, with her 3rd labor being a mere 43 minutes. Her biggest baby was 7 pounds 7 ounces... until this night and until this baby, he had some different plans.
She started labor around 11 oclock on the 6th and went right into active labor. Around 4 am she was complete and ready to push. She tried a few times and baby just didnt want to move. With pushing mama's blood pressure started going up so we gave her a little cayenne pepper concoction... Yum that must have been delicious :). So we check mama and realize baby is posterior and we now have a swollen lip of cervix. We get mama up and into the bathroom to do a little hula dance to get baby turned and the cervix gone. Many hours, tears and sweat beads later we move back to the bedroom and at 9am she pushes out one of the most amazing, fat, beautiful, and precious baby boys I have ever seen. Luke Daniel was born, all 10 pounds of him.
One of the things I remember this mama saying still to this day is "An hour of labor for every pound. " Still brings a tear to my eye this very day. Happy 15th birthday Luke. You will always hold a special place in my heart. <3
She started labor around 11 oclock on the 6th and went right into active labor. Around 4 am she was complete and ready to push. She tried a few times and baby just didnt want to move. With pushing mama's blood pressure started going up so we gave her a little cayenne pepper concoction... Yum that must have been delicious :). So we check mama and realize baby is posterior and we now have a swollen lip of cervix. We get mama up and into the bathroom to do a little hula dance to get baby turned and the cervix gone. Many hours, tears and sweat beads later we move back to the bedroom and at 9am she pushes out one of the most amazing, fat, beautiful, and precious baby boys I have ever seen. Luke Daniel was born, all 10 pounds of him.
One of the things I remember this mama saying still to this day is "An hour of labor for every pound. " Still brings a tear to my eye this very day. Happy 15th birthday Luke. You will always hold a special place in my heart. <3
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Here ya go.....
Why do I make blogging more difficult than it needs to be. You just sit and type what is on your mind right? Yeah you would think it would be that simple. Psh not for me the perfectionist. I sit and do a rough draft then edit, delete, rename, take away paragraphs, add paragraphs, delete the whole thing than rewrite it and then it starts all over again. Goodness. Blogging is a Love/Hate thing for me. I would LOVE to do it more often but this inner struggle ALWAYS wins. So I have decided I am going to sit here and BLOG. I am not going to even go back and read it. I am not going to correct any spelling, worry about where a new paragraph should start, and I am not going to think twice about it. (ok I will think twice but prolly not more than 10 times)
I have so many wonderful things to blog about and really dont know where to start. Life of course is always a struggle but the thing that is great about it is I am always learning new things. God has placed some WONDERFUL people in my life and I am loving that. There arent a lot of people that you can sit for almost 40 minutes and laugh so hard every laugh muscle is BURNING about absolutely nothing and be completely sober. I really needed that! Laughter is very healing.
Midwifery is beautiful! God is awesome!! Beautiful 10 pound baby boy born 2 mondays ago, to a beautiful family that I am absolutely honored to be a part of their birth, life, and family. 5th home birth for this mama. She was amazing. Her and her hubby make an amazing team.
A couple weeks before that, a little girl was born at home. And just before that a little boy. The 6th boy in his family. I could go on and on. I am so blessed!
July 29th was my 9th wedding anniversary. WOW 9 years. Where does the time go? We didnt do anything but the other day my hubby came home with Nickelback tickets!! WOOOHOOO those who dont know me I LOVE Nickelback! The concert is August 28th. Hopefully my August mama has had her baby by then, BUT Im not counting on it. I am just going to pray Gods will. There will be other concerts but this mama will only have her 1st baby once and I wouldnt miss it for the world.
My kiddos are getting bigger right before my eyes. So bitter sweet. Im ready for another hubby says no more. So I am praying for a heart to change. One or the other. I wish kids understood the love we have for them. Its a bummer that they have to wait to experience this kind of love until they have their own. But I know we were created perfectly and I trust that. Everything is a process right. So I end my raw,unedited and unperfect blogging session with a song that God has been laying on my heart for the last 20 minutes. (which is also a Bible verse I just cant remember which one.... Im sure you'll tell me Jenny :) <3 )
And I praise you, For I am fearfully and wonderfully made!
I have so many wonderful things to blog about and really dont know where to start. Life of course is always a struggle but the thing that is great about it is I am always learning new things. God has placed some WONDERFUL people in my life and I am loving that. There arent a lot of people that you can sit for almost 40 minutes and laugh so hard every laugh muscle is BURNING about absolutely nothing and be completely sober. I really needed that! Laughter is very healing.
Midwifery is beautiful! God is awesome!! Beautiful 10 pound baby boy born 2 mondays ago, to a beautiful family that I am absolutely honored to be a part of their birth, life, and family. 5th home birth for this mama. She was amazing. Her and her hubby make an amazing team.
A couple weeks before that, a little girl was born at home. And just before that a little boy. The 6th boy in his family. I could go on and on. I am so blessed!
July 29th was my 9th wedding anniversary. WOW 9 years. Where does the time go? We didnt do anything but the other day my hubby came home with Nickelback tickets!! WOOOHOOO those who dont know me I LOVE Nickelback! The concert is August 28th. Hopefully my August mama has had her baby by then, BUT Im not counting on it. I am just going to pray Gods will. There will be other concerts but this mama will only have her 1st baby once and I wouldnt miss it for the world.
My kiddos are getting bigger right before my eyes. So bitter sweet. Im ready for another hubby says no more. So I am praying for a heart to change. One or the other. I wish kids understood the love we have for them. Its a bummer that they have to wait to experience this kind of love until they have their own. But I know we were created perfectly and I trust that. Everything is a process right. So I end my raw,unedited and unperfect blogging session with a song that God has been laying on my heart for the last 20 minutes. (which is also a Bible verse I just cant remember which one.... Im sure you'll tell me Jenny :) <3 )
And I praise you, For I am fearfully and wonderfully made!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Witnessing our first cow birth :)
Okay so some of you may think I am crazy and that is ok and some of you will love it like I do......... Today my children and I were driving down the road and as we past a field I saw a mama cow just starting to lay down. Just looking at her she had that I am about to have a baby look about her. So I found the nearest spot to turn around and started heading back. When we got there she was just laying there like she was enjoying the sun and I started to second guess myself but............she was just laying there peacefully waiting for the next urge to come along. As she pushed my children sat there quietly admiring the beauty that was happening...........and then there I am the midwife mom.........Cheering the cow on. I couldn't resist. I had tears in my eyes as I do every birth I attend and was telling her "you can do it mama you can do it" " good job mama you are almost done go go go " and crazy enough I was pushing with her not only with my body but with my heart feeling with every fiber of my being that it was actually helping her get her baby out. Once her baby finally emerged she set up a little like it was any other sunny day, completely and totally trusting in the way of birth as her baby lay there (the baby still had not moved) but there was no panic no "cow doctors" running up and yanking the baby away from mom because he hadn't moved, no uncomfortableness (if that is a word) just relaxation knowing that everything is ok. As the baby started stirring the mom jumped up and started licking the baby clean. When the mama jumped up the other cow mama (and her baby) that is sharing the field ran over to her and started helping her clean her baby. It really made me think about human birth. Dont get me wrong here I know that there are complications that arise and I know that there are emergency’s but take a cows life for example....... They eat the perfect diet throughout their pregnancy no processed foods no soda no coffee no candy, bigmacs, whoppers, french fries etc........., they drink the right amount of water, they have no interventions whatsoever. (almost all complications can be avoided by the right diet) Do some baby cows die.... YES of course but it is very rare. And thank goodness us humans have the resources to prevent that most of the time. But why would an animal be made to birth a baby more perfectly than humans? They arent!!! We can do it just as perfectly we have just been soooo poorly programmed to believe everything that the medical industry wants us to believe and they have successfully taken all of our faith and trust away. Birth has been turned into a huge DRAMA and a medical emergency. There is a quote from a doctor in one of my textbooks and he said " Women’s bodies are malfunctioning machines that needs to be fixed before it starts malfunctioning. " To me that is soooo sad and in another sense it really makes me mad. How dare you treat me as though I don't work. And we wonder were our doubt and lack of faith comes in hmmmm. We as women need to take charge and take our births back!!!!!! We are strong and capable we need to prove anyone wrong who believes this statement. I know that I am not a malfunctioning machine and I know that I am perfectly made to grow and birth a perfect baby without anyone's "help". Anyways I just thought I would share this I hope you guys enjoy it and I hope that it makes some of you start questioning "authority". Have a wonderful and blessed day.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My very first unofficial birth....
From the time I could talk I was going to be an OB/GYN. I was going to "deliver" babies. That was my desire, my passion, and nobody could change my mind. I watched every baby show, held every baby for as long as the mother would allow. I would listen intently to any birth story and ask questions. As I grew my passion NEVER changed.
My mom became pregnant when I was about 11.
Early morning on July 27th 1991, exactly 3 months and 1 day before my 12th birthday and 2 weeks before my moms EDD, she loses her mucus plug. And as most of us know.... that doesnt always mean much. For my mom it meant she was having a baby. She called the midwife and the midwife said what I am sure all midwives say when they get this call.... "well just hang out, go for a walk, love on your husband, rest, eat and call me when things start changing." So that is what she did. She walked around the mall, shopped, had lunch, came home, had dinner, and hung out with very little signs of labor. So about 10 o'clock we all went to bed. Including the midwife.
12:30am on the 28th contractions start..... I start hearing some commotion about 1 am, so I get up to go see what is happening. I just barely get into my moms room and all of a sudden this amniotic fluid that looks as if it is being shot out by a fire hose lands at my feet. I make a B line back to my bed and hide myself under the covers, praying that this isnt really happening... (remember I am 11 and this was my mom) I was scared for just a bit. Kathleen came in and started rubbing my back and said "if you wanna see your brother be born you better come out here your mom is pushing." I got up and went back to my moms rooom. My mom looks at Kathleen and says "I feel like I need to push." Kathleen looks right at her and says, "so push." It was then you started to see a bulge and this little scrunched up bald head (which I honestly thought was brains) starts making its way out. Once the head was out it didnt look like brains anymore (thank goodness for my 11 year old psychy). It was a perfect beautiful little boy head. The most amazing thing that I had EVER seen. There was nuchal cord that was actually preventing him from coming out (cord dystocia) so Kathleen cut it very quickly and out came the most perfect human being I had ever seen. All 6lbs 12 1/2 ounces of him. Benjamin Aaron was born at 1:13am On the 28th of July and he was the most amazing perfect beautiful little being I had ever laid my eyes on!
Now my brother is going to be 18. WOW how time flies. But that will be a day and a birth that I will hold as dear as my own childrens birth. No matter how old or big he gets he will always be my little Bubby!
My mom became pregnant when I was about 11.
Early morning on July 27th 1991, exactly 3 months and 1 day before my 12th birthday and 2 weeks before my moms EDD, she loses her mucus plug. And as most of us know.... that doesnt always mean much. For my mom it meant she was having a baby. She called the midwife and the midwife said what I am sure all midwives say when they get this call.... "well just hang out, go for a walk, love on your husband, rest, eat and call me when things start changing." So that is what she did. She walked around the mall, shopped, had lunch, came home, had dinner, and hung out with very little signs of labor. So about 10 o'clock we all went to bed. Including the midwife.
12:30am on the 28th contractions start..... I start hearing some commotion about 1 am, so I get up to go see what is happening. I just barely get into my moms room and all of a sudden this amniotic fluid that looks as if it is being shot out by a fire hose lands at my feet. I make a B line back to my bed and hide myself under the covers, praying that this isnt really happening... (remember I am 11 and this was my mom) I was scared for just a bit. Kathleen came in and started rubbing my back and said "if you wanna see your brother be born you better come out here your mom is pushing." I got up and went back to my moms rooom. My mom looks at Kathleen and says "I feel like I need to push." Kathleen looks right at her and says, "so push." It was then you started to see a bulge and this little scrunched up bald head (which I honestly thought was brains) starts making its way out. Once the head was out it didnt look like brains anymore (thank goodness for my 11 year old psychy). It was a perfect beautiful little boy head. The most amazing thing that I had EVER seen. There was nuchal cord that was actually preventing him from coming out (cord dystocia) so Kathleen cut it very quickly and out came the most perfect human being I had ever seen. All 6lbs 12 1/2 ounces of him. Benjamin Aaron was born at 1:13am On the 28th of July and he was the most amazing perfect beautiful little being I had ever laid my eyes on!
Now my brother is going to be 18. WOW how time flies. But that will be a day and a birth that I will hold as dear as my own childrens birth. No matter how old or big he gets he will always be my little Bubby!
I was just thinking how awesome it would be to keep a journal of my midwife life. My joy, my struggles, my loves, and hates.... ok well there really aren't any hates but you get my point. :) I want to try to blog every birth I can, and considering there are well over 100 it may take a while. They will not be in the right time sequence but they will still be enjoyable to say the least. Thank you for reading. Love and blessings to you all!
Tiffany
Tiffany
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